Thursday, March 19, 2009

And here I thought it was just something in the water

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20090318/ap_on_he_me/med_baby_boomlet_5

Babies are popping out of the woodwork. They kinda always have been. So what makes these trying times so different? Surely we've all seen young unmarried women with swollen bellies waddling down the street... And I've come to terms with that. There were even some acquaintances I knew that had children early...the problem now is..this is getting WAY too close to home! With close friends, study buddies and gfs of immediate exs now expecting, I feel like I'm in a small room dodging bullets, and I'm claustrophobic.

Ideally I would like to be married before I start a family, and I'm inclined to think that's every woman's plan, but given the sheer number of people being swept away by the undertow of pregnancy, things don't always go according to plan. Don't get me wrong, I love children and I truly believe they are a gift from God, and I wish every woman has a healthy baby, but considering how tough things are in the job market and economy this seems like a terrible time to get pregnant, especially when you are not an established professional, or have little to no job security. Or worse, you're working retail, waitressing or something like that (like many recent graduates are).

However, I bring this up, not to throw ashes on the faces of those who now have to plan for an extra mouth to feed, but it kinda got me thinkin bout some of the larger issues I've been confronted with as of late: mainly my female friends' obsession with marriage or at least "needing a man". I'm not saying at all that men aren't necessary, one day I hope to be in a serious relationship with one and eventually would like to get married. But when did it become the focus (at the ripe ole age of 22)? What happened since graduation that suddenly makes my friends feel like they can't focus on anything besides the pursuit of man? and how, if at all, is that connected to the uptick in pregnancies in my social network?

I feel like I've missed some crucial step in the socialization process because I'm not on the same page.

Growing up I, and many other young women in my generation were taught to pursue education and career first, the boys will always be there. But somehow, during my junior year of college, I was somehow expected to be in a serious relationship. weird right? Maybe for most people. But for me it was downright terrifying!

**Because my parents were strict I wasnt allowed to hang out with girls my own age; instead, my social life centered around women who had almost a decade on me in age or more. One such woman I spent alot of time with, Danielle*, was in ther 30's with a medical degree from John's Hopkins, sweet, caring, loved Jesus and was guess what?--single and hating it with not a single prospect on the horizon.**

Was this the early onset of single woman hateration and devaluation? If so I'm SO not ready. and that's terrifying because I don't like not being prepared...

This isn't over so I reserve the right to revisit this topic later. Hopefully I won't be pregnant then.....

*Name changed

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