Since we stopped charging a cover on Wednesdays, its been significantly slower. That's good because I don't drink as much, but also bad because I don't make as much. Oh well, can't win em all....
Because the night was so slow, I actually finished cleaning and closing my register in about half an hour; usually it takes about an hour. And of course, a spirited conversation was well underway. One of the regulars, who is practically family at this point and is a good friend of the owners, who I will call "Long and Strong" (L&S) because all she drinks are Long Islands, which she prefers to taste like gasoline. Usually she will put away anywhere from 4 to 7 long islands on a given night; tonight she ahs only had two--well, two and a half because I accidentally threw away a drink I thought she had finished. Much of our clientele consists of regulars: people who either have that one night a week where they come to party faithfully, and those who don't seem to party anywhere else because they are in the house, living it up seemingly every night we are open. L&S is somewhere inbetween. She is here pretty much every Wednesday, and maybe a weekend night or two if she's feeling really good. She is tall, and a proud member of team chunk (c) VSB..... who will wine you to death, and this is how the madness begins:
After hours at Reggae Club USA, ESS is wrapping up cleaning and accounting duties, Mr. Boss Man Kama Sutra, DJ and company are sitting around with last minute drinks (which by the way, kept getting more and more last minute as the night progressed.)
Perhaps I should explain a bit about boss man Kama Sutra; he is one half of the ownership team. He is attractive (I guess lol), slender, pretty laid back, and has a ponytail. I usually don't find men with ponytails attractive but it works for him, and the ladies seem to love it. And outside of not allowing women to touch his hair, he loves them back. Perhaps a little too much. He has a reputation for getting with a good number of bartenders who have worked here before me...so much so that, upon starting my tenure there, I was promptly warned about him. I think he knows better than to make serious passes at me, besides, his affections are directed primarily towards my Bartender twin, and the many women (including a supposed girlfriend) who regularly visit the club.
But I digress, as usual. Kama Sutra is a wild dude, and alot of fun to party with, and a fun person to have as a boss, for the most part.
Well the conversation begins rehashing last Wednesdays events: The little mermaid, named for her small stature and long, flowing weave, had nearly gotten into a fight. It is well known that the little mermaid is a street walker. She comes in a lot on Wednesdays, either by herself, or with a man in tow, and maybe one weekend night, if at all. Well last Wednesday was her pre-Birthday celebration. Either she drinks Remy (usually) or she drinks goose, no more, no less. To be honest, she doesn't tip that well, and is always looking for a free shot (it's one thing to want a shot of something cheap, like a kamikaze, but she only drinks the good stuff, which I cannot be giving away all willy nilly), which is rather annoying--apparently she annoys many, including the DJ and Kama Sutra (for grabbing his ponytail, lol) Well anyway, at the end of the night last Wednesday, she tried to take home the uncle of Kama Sutra's nephew, who comes every Wednesday. A childhood friend of the Uncle was there and intervened (or cockblocked, depending how you look at it), resulting at her being called out as a hooker, and The little mermaid insisting (profanely) that the Uncle was less than a man for refusing her advances, and her nearly getting mollywopped by the bigger, and more gully childhood friend.
Well, Long & Strong, was getting on the after hours guests for making fun of her (and her profession), claiming its not right that they give her all this attention, only to talk about her after hours, which of course they all deny. In part they are right: none of the people who know her really like her, especially the DJ, and L&S's finger pointing is slightly ineffective because she somehow, is drunk and so she just lumps them all in.
Another round of corona and an extra Sambuca for Kama Sutra goes around
Well from there, L&S goes in on how Kama Sutra only likes skinny gyals and can't handle a big woman. Then she starts goin on about how they (the men) are all liars talmbout sexual stuff they [supposedly] won't do, to which Kama Sutra retorts that he LOVES "snacking on puntang", and that since he can't Bull for an hour he has to eat for the first half so he can make it. *dead*
I actually died a few times last night
Well during her tirade about real women and her squirting habits, Long and Strong showed us her areolas, not twice, but thrice! the third of which was directly in the face of a member of the Dj's entourage. Apparently he was not ready because he promptly turned bright red (he is of the fairer persuasion) and did nothing but smile for about 5 minutes maybe.
And not to ruin Kama Sutras inventive idea, but he claims he will create a dildo with an attached, scrotum -like appendage to enhance, and perhaps revolutionize womens' self love lives.
And of course, since this is not the first time we've had such conversations at arsecrack in the morning, the old conversation of choking and arse banging is brought back on the table after the lecture on squirting vs. creaming. I try not to participate but I'm always singled out, always by Kama Sutra: "Have you ever let somebody choke you?" No. "Would you ever let somebody choke you?" One hand only. I have participated enough so he is satisfied.
Needless to say, I didn't get home til about 5am when we close at 2.
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