Thar She Blows!

So, Ole Faithful is back in town. He surprised me with a phone call about a week ago..he is Ole Faithful so I shouldn't be so surprised but things did not end so well between us last November when he told me in an unrelated convo that he was in a relationship, and without really saying so cut me off.

Of course later I got breaking news about the twist in turns in his relationship though I had never opted in:

Well he claims to have been thinking about me: (at arse o'clock of course) and is wondering if he can come by and hang out with me. I hesitate, but agree.... I should be good because I'm not in the mood for any hanky panky...and I'm stubborn so I was still feeling some kinda away about how he handled "the end".

He comes over..I sit on a different couch, we watch Ninja Warrior and play catch up...he tells me that in the half year since I saw him last he has gotten into some trouble..I expect him to tell me about the baby momma...he does not..he tells me about his legal trouble. I'm only moderately surprised, because this is not the first time he has been in some sort of trouble with the law. However, this is the first time he has given me details. He was facing 5 years but walked away with a year probation and an expunged record if he can manage to keep his nose clean for a year.

He then says he thought it was stupid that he never tried to pursue anything serious with me because I'm cool and he's never had any drama with me...okay.. but I wasn't really sure what to do or say about it because he just put it out there...he didn't necessarily indicate that he wanted to do anything about it, so I thought at the moment it was just easier to listen and say nothing.

Who knows how long he is here for or what his intentions are, but we will see, I guess.

Bartender Vision pt 6 Threes a Crowd

Friday night was our first night trying the three bartender thing. I HATED it. Everything just seemed so hectic..Part of it is the three of us don't know each other well so there is no chemistry between us which means the flow is off and communication down. On top of it all it really seemed to not make much of a difference in terms of the reigster. The two registers didn't ring much more than I usually would on a saturday night even though there was an extra person making drinks and collecting money. Also in terms of tip money...there was not much to take home as we had to split it between 3 people, as I had feared. But its bad when I do better on a Wednesday or Sunday night than I do on a Friday or Saturday.

I feel bad because I think ish is gon hit the fan at the next staff meeting..and I anticipate that the newbie will be caught in the cross hairs. It's not that we don't like her..cuz we do, but there's no incentive to work on a Friday or Saturday and have to deal with throngs of impatient customers AND have hafta to work twice as hard when I'm making half as much. I have a feeling that it will come off like we don't want her working with us cuz she's new and impeeds on our money making ability...which is only half true..she is impeding on our money making ability because we have to split evenly...not necessarily because she's new.

I still maintain that we're better off just getting a barback- Because having to scoop ice and refill juice is the "L"

Bartender Vision pt. 5 A change is gonna come

It kinda blows me that more people come out in the freezing cold but not when there's a light rain. So needless to say, last night was a little slow for a Wednesday, but the beauty of it all is I still do pretty well even on slow nights. It was kinda an off night in general..I didn't party as hard as I usually would, but oh well..maybe I needed the rest; I've been running myself into the ground lately.

On a slightly unrelated note, one patron really got under my skin last night. It's my first time seeing him so he doesn't get a name. He asks me for a double shot of remy..which I pour for him...liberally into a cognac snifter. I give it to him, tell him the price and he complains that it's not a double shot...fml Luckily it was not busy so I took the time to explain to him that it was but he was still insisting...to the point of arguing. So I reach for a shot glass and pour the Remy into it..there's way more than one shot. but then he STILL wanted to argue that it somehow was not two shots...THEN asked for more (little did he know that he got close to 3 shots (when people ask for shot of cognac they actually get a shot and a half, because we want it to look nice in the snifter) !!!!!! UGH! After seeing about the few other customers waiting on my while this fool was trying argue me down....I pour him a splash more. He whines about how he thinks I somehow don't like him......... promises that he will tip me extra..the bill was $24 for a double shot of Remy VSOP.. he left me $4 when gave him $6 ones for change....he ain't even give me 20%.....oh well... but if I see him again he will NOT get the same treatment..I'll just put it into a shot glass so he'll get exactly two shots.... The moral of this anecdote? NEVER bite the hand that slips extra alcohol into your drink free of charge.

We've got some "big" changes coming up within the club..some of which I'm a little apprehensive about to be honest. For one, my bosses got the club so they could party and make money...not so they can help us bartend when it gets busy...which is what they have been doing. They usually bring in an extra bartender during summer months to help man the days (Wed, Ths, Sun) that in the winter don't usually need more than one bartender, but with the quitting of the senior bartender, they've got to hire two instead of one.

I didn't discuss it before, but we don't pool tips* where I work. Whatever you make, you keep. Because the bosses are tired of having to cut short their Friday night party to serve drinks behind the bar, and plus they are opening up a new spot they are going to have 3 bartenders behind the bar on the busiest nights. Great, we have extra help but that comes with problems all its own. They have decided that on those nights we will have 3 bartenders, we will pool tips. the veteran was not having that, and put in her 2 weeks notice. So now I'll be working Fridays also.


The boss man seems convinced we will make more money at the bar AND in tips...I'm hopeful but not 100% sure:

1. We still only have 2 registers.... No matter how many drinks we whip up, we still gotta enter it into the system..and we don't even have POS**.

2. We only have one credit card machine. Again, it just slows down the process...Me and the twin are already strugglin to get our receipt orders processed, and once she accidentally gave away the credit card and ID of one of my customers to the wrong person..(boy was THAT a nightmare)

3. In this instance it's a double edged sword that we'll be pooling tips.. our bosses like hiring people straight out of bar school..no shame in that..for all of us this is our first bar gig. But this means the third person is inexperienced, and doesn't seem like she is bringing in tips just like that just yet. In time she will but I think in the short run it will hurt us. Also, when we are off on our liquor count we have to pay the difference...I feel like there's more room for error, and because you can't pinpoint it to one person...we'll ALL have to pay..which sux. Because if someone is giving their friends a lot of free drinks, or just making a lot of errors in general, it could be ugly. That said, pooling tips can be good because we act as our own bar backs, and when the juices run out, etc we refill them ourselves, because you know you're losing money not serving drinks, I really didn't see anyone wanting to stop to refill the cranberry juice or count out ones from the tip jar when we run out of ones for change in the register.

4. Instead of 2 personalities, it's three...she seems cool but how do the three of us work together..my twin is not super excited about pooling tips for the reasons discussed above and i kinda feel her...but we'll see....at least we don't have to pool on slower nights.

******** Updates on some of my infamous regulars********

The nekked contortionist was back....I was so surprised/shocked/excited I hugged her. lol I asked her why she hadn't been around and apparently she had been banned for a few months because of her dance floor antics... well she was back at it, wine-ing all over the place and drinking zombies..she seemed VERY excited to be back...even brought out some new dance moves....and had the presence of mind to "leave before they ban me again." I was glad.

The Sleuth came in last night. He didn't stay long, just wanted to give me a flyer of a picture of him with VP Biden, for an event announcing his mayoral candidacy......He finally cut off the twists....thank God! I wasn't a flattering style for him. Apparently he's been pursuing my Bartender twin, on nights we're not there together of course, but she constantly rejects him. He has thrown flowers at her because of it then come back later with a Tiffany** bracelet to express his regret. Sigh...when he gon learn?

*The practice of splitting tips evenly at the end of the night, so everyone leaves with the same amount. If you're not as good a bartender or have an off night, its good because what the other bartender made makes up for it...If you're good.....you might feel some kinda way if you're working with someone who isn't bringing in that kinda money for any give reason.
** POS - Point of Sale-the touch-screen flat panel registers in many restaurants and clubs
***The authenticity of this gift has not yet been established.

Bartender Vision pt 4 "Flex, Time to have Sex "

Last night I had a BALL at work. Even though its a reggae club that plays reggae 95% of the night, the Wednesday DJ, though he is from Trinidad specializes in R & B, and he knows I'm from Cali so when its slow he tends to play more hip hop and R&B til the crowd arrives. Last night he is playin all my jams, Candy Rain, Back that Azz Up, Danger, I Got Five on it, the list goes on, so I'm partying hard...early.

We've also added a new bartender to the staff to help us manage the summer crowds. The veteran on staff is quitting also so it is uncertain whether or not the owners will hire yet another bartender, but we will see... she she's been training with each of us. Last night was her night with me. She seems cool..a little quiet for now, but that will change I think. She's thick like me and likes to dance so we partied especially hard, because the night was kinda slow so we didn't have to make that many drinks.

Gyrating shapely women + scant clothing= many tips, even when the bar doesn't make that much. Because she is training, she can't collect her own tips. As the head bartender for the night, it is up to my discretion to decide what she gets to take home above her hourly, if any.

I'll say I'm probably the nicest. The veteran, she doesn't' give one red coppy cent; my twin, who revels with me half nekked on Saturday nights, may give a "couple dollars" as she put it, whereas I have traditionally allowed them to keep what they make...I feel kinda bad though because I had to re-evaluate that practice because they train on slow nights where I usually don't make as much anyway.....so now I just tip 20% of my tips, as if they were bar backs....of course that is determined by how hard you worked that night... because some I have trained have just stood there.... needless to say, they weren't hired.

I like the new girl, she's friendly enough, understands customer service, is observant, learns quickly, and has the potential to bring in big tips, which is especially important now that we will begin pooling tips on nights where the 3 of us will be working.

Well she and I are partying hard, the bar isn't that busy, and even though we are not packed, the crowd is Definitely getting it in. My regulars are loving it..I usually wear more clothes on Wednesday night but it's hot! And generally speaking my personal philosophy is the hotter it gets, the less I wear. Naturally, sometimes customers will try to holla at us. It comes with the territory, but this one customer, the horny toad, hand me his phone with his credit card receipt, indicating that I should give him my number. I hand him his phone back, sans my number-- It is against my bartender code of ethics.

********************************

There is nothing wrong with giving out your number, I just prefer not to do it because:

1. I try not to mix business with pleasure- (could you imagine some random I'm dating who I met @ the club always being there to "check up on me"?)

1a. The club is a very close knit environment. If you allow it, they will know ALL your personal business, I don't want the goings on of my private life to be fodder for the workplace.

1b. this includes not dating people associated with the club in any capacity, whether it be one of the owners, friend or family of the owners, etc.

Could you imagine the kind of drama that would ensue if I had a thing with someone that went south? One of the regulars was dating the DJ way back when and that STILL causes trouble so I could only imagine.... I like to stay drama free.

2. It's not so easy to tell if you are a stalker or otherwise crazy just by standing behind the bar.

3. I'm half nekked for crying out loud!..that is NOT the first impression I want to make on a potential boo.. I tend to dress much more conservatively in real life..no need to have the poor man deceived.

************************************

Well anyway, the horny toad seems undaunted. he says, in that forward, drunk voice, give me your digits. I smile, slide his phone back and move on to dance and serve others, and give some pointers to the newbie.

Horny toad (HT): You need to stop fakin on me and give me your number

ESS: I'm sorry but I don't give my number out at the club

HT: But how am I going to get to know you?

ESS: Come see me next Wednesday

Horny toad grabs my hand, caresses it

HT: I mean I ain't coming at you wrong, I just wanna make LOVE to you

ESS: oh. Insert smile here...set-up for classic move. Reach back for napkin and a pen, instructs HT to write his info down so that I may call HIM later....it never happens. The napkin usually doesn't even make it home

I really is a delicate balancing act to make that work. I don't wanna piss any customer off so that they stop coming or stop getting drinks from me, but I don't want half of DC wearing out my number either.....

and yes, I apply the same rules to the cute ones...

If you do what you've always done, You'll get what you always got

A close friend of mine was visiting from out of town and invited me to visit his home church here in DC. I go and thoroughly enjoyed the service. The sermon was simple but a few things really stood out to me. The pastor was talkin bout having unclaimed blessings (not prosperity talk or nothing just that we miss out on so much God has for us because we refuse to put in the work to get it.)



But what stood out them most was him saying "You will never change what you tolerate."



After all, If you weren't pleased with something wouldn't you work to change it? It really got to me because I'm known for being the ULTIMATE persevere-er and its true. I take SO much! til I'm simply done taking it, and you know, it works for me. Honestly I wouldn't have made it this far had I not persevered...even though I had plenty people helping me along the way. And as dissatisfied I am with the way things are now, personally, professionally, etc you'd think I'd be doing more to change it but sadly I'm not. I'm trying of course but I think I've let the sheer magnitude of everything that's been going on take over so much so that I haven't been able to put together a tangible plan....



When it comes to relationships, I'm the type to observe people. I'm highly combative so I usually try to avoid arguments unless its really important because I know I will argue you to the death. But to get a feel for people's characters I tend to just observe how they treat me and others ..... and to date, I can't say my assessments have been wrong yet.. haste makes waste you know.....



My objective is...without me nagging and getting on my soap box about what I WON'T take and how I expect to be treated (all I really ask for is a little respect and consideration), how would you treat me? So needless to say...many a man has found me "suddenly" not feelin him when really I've built a case file over a period of time...it sounds harsh but isn't that what "dating" is about anyway? Spending time with a person and getting to know them. My thing is when we know we are being watched, we are usually on our best behaviour, but what about when we're left to our own devices? Would you still open the door for me if I didn't get on on my grandstand about how chivalry is on life support? Would you be as charming if I didn't tell you that that's what I like? Would you still perform as well if I didn't give you the cheat sheet to ace the test?



In my experience the answer is no, and it's left me spending many a night by my lonesome..which I don't mind. It comes with the territory. While I think my strategy works just fine (i think), I cant help but wonder if I'm helping a man think certain behaviors are okay because I usually don't say anything..granted I won't tolerate them for long but I'm primarily a non-verbal communicator so words are rarely used. It's my desire that those I invest time with are better and/or wiser for having experienced one who is Earnestly Soul Searching, but I can't help but think that my silence is impeding the growth of others....



I'm obviously still working through this so I'm sure I'll be revisiting the topic in the near future...your thoughts of course, are welcome.

Mojo Adjustment pt. 1

First, I apologize that I have not been posting consistenly. To be honest, I've been really goin through it, which has prevented me from getting in front of the computer to write, and two, sometimes my life just doesn't seem that intereting and I believe if you don't have something to say, you just shouldn't say anything at all....

**Now on to the regularly scheduled programming **

I dunno what it is, but I'm finding that apparently men under 30 are just not attracted to me. I just don't get any burn. Don't get me wrong, the maturity and more stability usually associated with older men is definitely attractive, if for no other reason that those are traits I try to cultivate in my own life. However, the few (read: 5) last inquiries I have received have been from men aged 33 and up. For some reason it has always been that way. Even as a 12 year old pubescent girl I always had older guys checkin for me but I digress. Considering my recent poor luck when it comes to some of the gentlemen in my social network I've really been examining within to see what it is about ME that keeps attracting such "relationship unsavory" people. (I mean you can only blame others for so long........) no man bashing here just dag!



So a male acquaintance of mine...the Creeper, I've kown for about 3 years now. Our interaction has always been polite, friendly yet professional....until about 6 months ago. As you know, I bartend, and he's also in the industry so I see him alot more. fine. right? until he tries to push up on me which upset and confused me because ..as I told him, I didn't even know you were REMOTELY interested in me, so how you go from good to see you --> girl gimme dat?!! I was NOT amused. So after we got over that hump... I keep him at an arms length ( after all I wouldn't wanna be in a position for a goodies snatch :-/) He still makes comments here and there about how we should get it poppin.......................................................................................... ::sigh::



One day he says to me "we need to find you a man so we can have an affair" WTH??!?!?! I let it ride because he's a strange bird, and strange birds make strange sounds.....but then he hits me with the "you know I'm engaged right? I'm shocked and taken aback seeing as how I didn't even know he was in a relationship but I didn't show my surprise and proceeded to ask about all the girly details (how'd u meet her, what's her name...etc) he shows me pics of the ring as well of the ring on her finger... announces that's she's set the date for May 2010. I repeat my congrats and promise to buy a gift when they are registered.



ESS cues gap band ::He drops a bomb on me::

Creeper: But I'm sayin, we need to just get it in one time before I married....

ESS: ::seething:: NO!

Creeper: Why Not!?!

ESS: Because that's your BOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



this exchange makes me angry on so many levels

in no particular order:

1. All the time I've known you...you never once mentioned having a girlfriend ( I used to have a crush on him...til he forced himself on me...so had he approached me differently this could've been ALL bad)

2. So you mean to tell me this WHOLE time you was tryina jizz in my draws u had a woman (long term at that!)?!

3. What makes you think after announcing that you were or engaged (or HELL! upon me finding out that you had a girlfriend) that I'm the kinda woman that would still try to pursue you or allow you access...whatever. ( This is where a lot of the soul searching comes in... am I presenting myself the wrong way? cuz I swear I be on my best behavior i.e. no revealing outfits, no segzy time jokes etc.)



and then...sigh....to be continued......