Monday, September 14, 2009

Bartender Vision pt 10 "Into the woods"

This weekend was off the chain. For some reason, it appears that everyone who likes to give my twin a hard time was in the house this Friday. The sleuth came in..and he wasn't going to order alcohol; THAT we already knew....He only has eyes for my twin. And he stood there and waited...for 10 minutes easy while she "hid" on my side of the bar to avoid him. Once he wised up and realized she was purposely not using the register nearest him, he came to my side, but then she moved again. Finally, he left.

Later a gentleman sitting on my side was asking for long islands.. It's my first time seeing him so he doesn't get a name, but he requested that the next long island be "stronger". I agree, but look at him like he's crazy, because I tend to make long islands pretty strong, to my dismay because, well, they're nasty! But I usual. But I make the second with all liquor, and barely a splash of coke for color...apparently that is not "strong" enough for him either. I tell the twin he will come to get drinks from her next..I am right. I roll my eyes but that one less no tipping asshole I gotta deal with. Who knows, maybe he will tip her? Either way its good for me because we split tips.

To round out the top three, The Little Mermaid comes in and is in rare form. Apparently she is already drunk. As usual she has on a short number and heels, complete with a long hair appendage in the form of a ponytail tonight with her bendi and matching contacts. Tonight she is drinking Remy, She has decided that I will not be her bartender tonight, and goes to my twin for all her drinking needs even though I am closer...oh well, one less personality to deal with. Well she had on these black, slightly over the knee-high boots, where she has stored her money. To pay for her Remy, she lifts one foot to the bar, unzips the middle of the boot where she has several $20 bills stored away. It's already pretty unsanitary to put her feet on places where people's drinks are served, especially after they have traipsed over fecal matter and gawd knows what else, but I'm digressing, as usual, again. the main problem is that the Little Mermaid is not wearing any underwear and has therefore effectively served up an exposed bat cave to a captive FML Well after my twin refused to give her a free shot of Remy to "replace" the one that had been "stolen", she came to me asking for two shot, one for her and a random woman she had rubbed her bare bottom on and then insisted on buying her a shot of Remy...the woman was drinking goose. Well after I gave her the two shot plus some water to chase it, she asked me how much she owed. I told her $24 she somehow expected for me to give her a shot of Remy for free, not happening. Then she tried to argue me down about it...since she is a regular I was trying to tell her to let Mr. Boss Man "the Waffle" know who was essentially standing right behind her, so that he could approve her getting a free shot. But she didn't wanna hear that and kept trying to argue me down, even tried to insist that she had given me a $50 bill to pay for her drinks, which she had not. She crossed the line when she gave me the drunk neck hug, on which I used my superior strength to promptly remove her arm from my neck. She paid, gave up, and of course didn't tip, and went back to dancing around, exposing 3/4 of her arse as she went....

Man what a night!

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