e tu Daddy?

I was talking to my father on the phone yesterday, and he was filling me in on some of the details of his business trip, he and my mom went on (moms is now a stay at home entrepreneur so she usually travels with my father). I'm a daddy's girl, and I've been away from home for 5 years no so my father has grown increasingly long-winded.

When it comes to me and relationships, my father has always been largely silent, but then again, I've never brought home knuckleheads so there hasn't been much that my father has needed to say. The only thing in fact, that he has ever said to me about my dating life (sparse and currently non-existent) is "you seem to have about one [boyfriend] a year".

That is until recently: During one of our check-ins, daddy was rehashing the wedding of my cousin (whom I've never met). I am my father's road dog, and my mother doesn't dance so it is usually he and I who hit the dance floor at wedding receptions together, it is he and I, not mom, who ride in his convertible with the top down (mom doesn't like the windblown look, I don't really care). Needless to say, he misses me, and that's all well and good, until he too dropped a bomb on me. He expressed to me that he hopes to live to see me get married.

DANG DADDY! that's kinda heavy.

My father isn't that old (62) and is in relatively good health. Granted, the good Lawd could take any of us at any time, so his concern is with merit, but I guess what surprised me most was that I had no clue my father took that much interest in my "love" life. Even though my father and I converse about many things, that has never been one of them...He's met all my boyfriends, of course, but never seemed to take a real interest in any of them, liked them but again, we just never really talked about it.

****Fast forward to last night****

He's telling me about his trip, where he ate (daddy KNOWS I like to eat), and then tells me he met a young lady on his return trip that reminded him alot of me. OK. But I was not prepared for what came next. By the end of the flight from Houston to California, he had the skinny on her also non-existent love life, and a little bit about her, (she's 27, an engineer of some sort, looks younger than she is, is returning from a friend's wedding, and is exasperated with her current inability to find a mate, and as a result is considering increasing the upper end of her dating range in hopes that she will find someone suitable for her). His summary: she like you is a young woman who has her stuff together, but is single because men her age don't seem to have it together.

Scooby?!

That one statement tells me that though he has never shared any of this with me before, clearly he has spent alot of time thinking about my prosepcts for a relationship, analyzed why I'm not in one and is obviously concerned, which is a little strange for me because I've never expressed any frustration to my mother or father about my dating life, or lack thereof, except maybe that one time my dad happened to call after I had just been stood up by some loser I met at a CBC event. But that wasn't about men in general but how this one individual could plan a whole entire date then fail to show without saying boo cat. I mean if you weren't interested don't ask me to go out with you.

But I digress. I don't complain because while I would like to be with someone, I understand that there is is a season to be single, and some lessons to learn during that time, and there is a time to be in a relationship. I may be single forever but while I certainly don't plan on it, I want to enjoy the season I'm in while I can. I'd like to be able to enter a union of some type from a place of peace and not dissatisfaction.

Daddy is usually so calm, cool and collected that it throws me off to see signs of him having anxiety about my prosepects for a relationship. Because He is nervous I'm starting to get nervous. I mean, I'm young and I got time right? LOL The other thing is that I completely expect these things from my mother, I mean, she is 60 with no grandbabies, but daddy?!?! I didn't expect him to heap on LE pressure also.

Taking one for the team, cuz wedding fabric sucks!

One of my good friends is getting married next month. This occasion is special for several reasons: for one, my friend is getting married and I'm excited to celebrate the beginning of this next chapter in her life, and to be able to support her as a member of her bridal party. Secondly, she is the first one of us to get married, and if you ask me, she'll be the only one for a while, since none of the rest of us are even seeing anyone, seriously or otherwise.

She went to Atlanta to teach and her now fiance, followed. Other friends in the bridal party have returned home to California, and still others have found themselves in other parts of the country for graduate school so it has been a while since we've all seen each other, so this makes her wedding even that much more special.

To date, my friend has been a model bride, no Bridezilla action here. She was even considerate enough to choose dresses that weren't super bridesmaidy looking, meaning that ideally it's something that could be worn again and were reasonably priced. With 8 bridesmaids of different sizes and shapes, there's only so much you can do.

I went maybe a month ago or so to order the dress. They run kinda small so I was sure to pick the larger size. It chiffon which seems to never lay right on shapely figures, and even though I tried a larger size, I still had reservations about how the dress was lying across my thighs and hips, it was a little tight for my taste but didn't look too bad. I asked the consultant for an even larger size but she assured me it was fine because the fabric was flowy, and a larger sized dress would swallow up my small frame, especially since it fit perfectly everywhere else. I reluctantly agreed.

I returned today to get the dress fitted and it was a nightmare. Not because they messed up my order, or because the seamstress was evil, neither was true. I could not get over how unflattering this dress ended up being. Not because it was ugly, or that the color was wrong, its just that the chiffon fabric just would not lay right. it's not even that I'm on the heavier side--in fact, I'm slender. But it just seemed to get caught around the hips. I wouldn't have minded so much had there not been extra fabric caught around my waist because I could not pull the dress down any further. Needless to say, it was not a good feeling.

I value my body, and my health and eat balanced meals and work out to stay in shape (but mainly so I can afford to eat what I like and not worry about it). One thing I promised myself, is that I would never lose weight just to fit into a dress, but that may have to change. It isn't even about me or how I feel about the dress... I'm more concerned about my friend's wedding and her wedding pictures. Yes I'll be standing next to her to support her, but in some sense, I also represent her, and I want to make sure I do it well. The only thing is, while a tad bit o weight loss is my only option, I'm not even sure that will help much. Given that my waist is much smaller that my hip measurement, the dress still may not lay right but I've got to try.

Good thing my new pole should be arriving soon because I definitely have to step up my workout game in the next month before these nuptials...pole dancing in class and at home and lots of yoga, maybe some running if it cools off outside some...but I have my work cut out for me. All I can do is hope it works out.